First of all: what is this? This is our first gear made on request. I mean, "made" is "designed" and "posted" for sale.
Second: we have . We drop all prices for about 10% average storewide. Now you don't have any excuses for not getting this totally exclusive stuff. Especially all you guys from Netherlands who recently have started visiting this page more often than myself.
Special THANKS! to all who contributed the brainpower to these two brand-new signs.
More weird stuff to come! Send me your ideas!
There
are two basic ways to do BITCHALKING™: get some
spraypaint or a chalk and mark your ex's driveway
or any other area around the place of her living with
an appropriate mark OR get her a gift from our gear store. Send it to her like a period in that seemingly
endless conversation that usually starts with "listen...
we have to talk" words.
Although a primary purpose of
BITCHALKING™ is dealing with bitches, you still
can award your present or ex-girlfriend with the t-shirt
that will feature her personal qualities, such as
NICE ASS or NOT A VIRGIN, for example. Such sweet
gesture may serve as "goodbye" message or
just a gift for anniversary of her losing virginity.
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This one was invented by Tom Leykis and describes something we all know one way or another. This sign is perfect when you don't know what to buy for her Birthday, if she has one. It's kind of like a sign on the electric poll: or something. |
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As Quazzo layed it nicely: "Kind of like a virgin, but really a slut who refuses or is too fucked up in the head to give it up". Well, what else can I say? |
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These days it's pretty rare to find a virgin, whatever it means, so use this mark cautiously, only after you got hard proof. Even better, use it in conjunction with the NON VIGINS and ORAL AVAILABLE marks! Also perfect gift for Valentine’s Day. |
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Everything happens for the fist time once. This
one to: just yesterday you bought for her our
VIRGIN-marked thongs and next thing you know
- she's screwing around your friends.
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It
is not that unusual to see VIRGIN and O.A. marks
together. It's trendy. It's graphical. And you
always can trick your parents by saying "this
is just new Urban Outfitters™
collection."
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OK, "no" means "NO", so
respect it. This mark also can be interpreted
as "I'm not saying that I'm O.A."
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Same gravity-beating mark as NICE ASS (see below).
Although, everyone has his own standards for
the term “nice breasts”, we know
what bad breasts are. Fair enough. This is straightforward,
no-nonsense mark.
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There is a thin borderline between "nice
ass" and "scary-ass ass" - use
your chance to differentiate between two. Mark
it as your territory before gravity does, if
only you know what gravity is.
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Never do a married woman and use this mark in
order to stop others from doing it/her. Try
to imagine yourself as her husband whose wife,
for whatever reason, is cheating on him with
some dude with hands smeared with chalk and
spray-paint after marking his freshly rebuilt
driveway.
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Perfect gift and mark for those who already
marked with MARRIED and/or with THREESOME READY.
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This mark can be used either with positive or
negative meaning, it's up to you. Best usage
in conjunction with VIRGIN and ORAL NOT AVAILABLE
(holly-huge discount for such package). Amen.
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According to Tom
Leykis (FM 97.1, 3pm-8pm in Los Angeles),
this category is the worst to deal with, starting
from “unplanned” pregnancy all the
way to dealing with the kid who has been made
by some other clown. Although it’s up
to you how to interpret this one, you can always
vary numbers inside the mark between 1 and 3.
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Most popular mark these days. Depicts MJ's leaves
and can be used as positive or negative mark,
according with your own preferences. Also, may
be used if you want to present yourself as some
kind of karate kid lost in 80’s or something
– there is something definitely Japanese
in this sign. Using this mark left and right
you may find a) troubles and b) friends for
some forbidden activities.
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Experiments are only good in one case: when
you do them in chemistry class. She also should
wear Catholic schoolgirl uniform, and…
Just kidding. This is pretty mischievous mark
because it can pretty much ruin somebody’s
life.
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Actually, all previous marks can be easily substituted
with this one. Here is the only pure reason
to mark somebody’s property – golddigging
activities. Unfortunately, these days we wouldn’t
find enough paint in whole world for this honorable
task. You may try though.
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Although you can use an ordinery chalk, you may opt for any available spray
paint. In order to make it possible I got pre-made
stencils available for download. They have been optimized
for carrying in CD-holder, so you can print them out
as many as you want, cut out the outlined part of
the stencil and stash in to your CD-holder for all
possible occasions.
However, there are just a few
rules that you can dismiss in case of absence of the
appropriate supplies. I'm talking about the Color
Code. While there are endless possibilities for experiments
with different colors, the only stable color combination
everybody knows is red-yellow-green. So, lets use
this unified pattern. Use RED
for warning-type marks, such as GOLD DIGGER or MARRIED.
Use YELLOW
for neutral or contraversial type of marks like RELIGIOUS or THREESOME AVAILABLE. And go ahead and spray all
around with GREEN
if you want to share some valuable information, such
as NICE BUTT or ORAL AVAILABLE.
I know, it's not that easy to
keep track of all possible marks (thinking of all
possible ideas you may share with me via special message
form placed above). Specially for such occasion I
prepared a credit-card sized card, that reflects the
basic set of marks with associated colors. Print it,
cut out and put in your wallet so you can deciphyr
any BITCHALKING™s you see. Download this card
[PDF
(1.9Mb), PSD
in ZIP (690Kb)]
Now, since you got in all troubles
reading stuff above, you may also be interested in
buying some quality gear with BITCHALKING™ branding.
Each and every mark is presented in all possible variations
- full size front with title on the back, full size
front, tiny logo on the left side of the chest with
title on the back. You can find more about materials,
inks and delivery options in GEAR
section.
Finally, it is customary to sign
up for the Mailing List (see upper left part of this page). While I promise not to spam
your inboxes, I will send to you monthly updates that
will mostly include the exclusive and coolest designs
for apparel (not only by myself but also by others)
or updates on variety of projects I work on. I have
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